-Lost Of Love@Lost Of Soul-

Recently Update...

2011-07-25T06:48:00.001-07:00

How are you all my fren.. Currently me I'm working as HR n as well as living my life to the fullest... Hence, I'm trying my best to strive for the best hardwork n performance as I can..

Updates on 4th of June 2011....

2011-06-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

Today, What I want to share is Never Say Anything Even You Think So~

You know why, Let me tell you why..

1. You will never know how much your words hurt the others...
2. You will never know how much your words might impact on the others...
3. You will never know how much your words may let people think about you...
4. You will never know how much your words might consequence you the next...
5. You will never know how much your words might make you lose someone close to you...
6. You will never know how much your words maybring the situation worse..

...
...
...
...
...

There are a lots more that I really could think of...

Therefore, Never Tell Even You Think So~~

People never Know Your Intention of Saying Out...

Regards,
Judy Advise~

Updates~

2011-05-06T21:20:00.001-07:00

Hi all my friends....

Recently I am so blur and I have been doing all the mistakes all the while... I do not know why and I will always find out why it is this way...

Over here.. Without you guys.. I really feel I cant take it... I will always rmb how you guys had been a supportive frens of me... I wil Jia You... I will encourage myself till my aim is reached...

One thing that before you want to start your job here is Do not mess with your col which is your boss favorite person and also your boss.. No matter how.. Do not mess with them... Unless you have your extra point then you may try to mess with them once in a while...

Love you alll....

Still in updating and keep update me as well....

Singapore days~

2011-05-01T02:53:00.000-07:00

Singapore is a country with alots of rules and regulation..
The workers is really really burden with alot of task and responsibility with lil income...
However, on this definition it depends on how people perceive their pay and their workload..

Life here is quite normal and less burden with the daily expenses excluded with the transportation fees and rental fees...

As a Malaysian, I would like to stay back to Malaysia life due to "used to it", that is my home in term of my family members is all there... People who I care is also there...

Stay happy as I wana be and Always stay preety~ :-p

How does getting rewarded through sharing sounds like to you? Join #ChurpChurp today and bring more friends to the community!

2011-03-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

How does getting rewarded through sharing sounds like to you? Join #ChurpChurp today and bring more friends to the community!

Fact: U can't snore & dream at the same time. U snooze, u lose! Get up & check out Taylor's Open Day on 19-20 March

2011-03-11T05:27:00.000-08:00

Fact: U can't snore & dream at the same time. U snooze, u lose! Get up & check out Taylor's Open Day on 19-20 March

I can't imagine my life without Facebook-ing for 24 hours.. and Twitter too. OMG! Can't live without internet! DiGi Broadband is giving us 5X Bonuslink points now? I am forever attached to the internet! #digibroadbandbonuslink

2011-03-10T05:45:00.000-08:00

I can't imagine my life without Facebook-ing for 24 hours.. and Twitter too. OMG! Can't live without internet! DiGi Broadband is giving us 5X Bonuslink points now? I am forever attached to the internet! #digibroadbandbonuslink

How does getting rewarded through sharing sounds like to you? Join #ChurpChurp today and bring more friends to the community!

2011-03-10T05:39:00.000-08:00

How does getting rewarded through sharing sounds like to you? Join #ChurpChurp today and bring more friends to the community!

Are YOU the most wanted? #axepolice

2011-03-10T05:38:00.000-08:00

Are YOU the most wanted? #axepolice

原来~

2011-01-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

~原来要变成一个悲哀大人也不容易
~原来爱一个人也需要懂得怎么去体谅，说话，和包容
~原来你对我的爱会减少的
~原来我一直对你的爱是不够的
~原来是我太委屈也不是个好方法
~原来认识很脆弱的
~原来我们都是脆弱的
~原来我想的，做的，为你好的都是用的方法来表达
~原来你一直都觉得我是在骂你，不为你设想的女朋友
~原来我不是个好女友
~原来有很多的原来是我不懂得
~原来我想要的是你不能给的
~原来我是不好的
~原来我是不懂得当一个好女友
~原来我的爱变成你的负担
~原来我的包容变成你的理说当然
~原来........我的希望是很难实现的
~原来我说的就是我只能爱你，不顾一切
~原来我爱你.....又如何.......
~但，我就是坚持到底做得最好的spirit....
~我会这样的爱你.........

Hope that Happiness Follow Me~

Updates~

2011-01-13T00:13:00.001-08:00

>It has been a long time I did not update my blog...
>I'm sorry to the readers that has been reading my blog..

I would want to start telling my story to readers from december 2010..
>I had my final examination..
>A lots of things making me concerned about..
>Things that making us physically aparts..
>Argument has been surrounding us...
>Each time it also breaking my heart..
>It has been an issue to both of us..
>But one thing Im glad about us is...
>We will not let go each other hand easily...
>I know well, we are from differ background of family and growing..
>And I know well that we got differ perspective towards everything..
>However, when time flies...
>Where times play a big role of our relationship...
>Influence, Improve, and most importantly..
>It has grow our relation to a deep and fonder love between us~
>Now..
>U & Me has really grow to We~
>Im glad about it..
>Im really happy about it..
>Im looking forward about our future..
>Im happy I met you and you heal my heart lil by lil; day by day~

Happiness is following and with me~

感情~

2010-12-16T03:28:00.000-08:00

>我不懂得如何解释 what is love??
>对我而言，我自动的付出；不要求回报...
>也许就像 Ms.J 曾经告诉过我 ... 这个方式已经不能够再用了
>也许把~
>我也不知道怎样在是最好的方法来为荠一段感情
>要说我是不幸福的活，我觉得我太不懂得感恩了...
>要说没问题，我觉得我在说谎 ...
>你的不说，我的多问 equal to 我也无法解答的问题
>我应该如何在能够解开我们的 gap 呢??
>这是我的问号
>我该如何去结掉我们之间对对方的问号呢??
>我真的不懂~
>好多时候我都在问自己，被人的问题我都没问题的解答
>但我自己的呢??
>我应该怎样去解答，为知己的问题解答??
>我好头痛...
>我该如何才能够打开我的心结呢...
>我的过去已经伤透心...
>如今我该怎么去解开我的心结，如果没有你的配合
>常常我都回想得很美好，好让我自己好过一点~
>但我常常事实都是残酷的...
>我好想很完美的牵着你的手肘到老
>但，你的不问不讲不在乎的表情
>让我很害怕，甚至我有点怀疑你对我的那个心
>但是有些时候，我很矛盾你对我的好
>你对我的好是从来没有一个过客曾对过我的
>这已足够让我对你的信任度增加
>但你的...我真的不知该如何好
>你能够让我关心你，陪伴你，听你的问题，当你的唯一
>口头上你都告诉我，你会
>但是，你的不说，不问，不在乎的表情
>你偶然的热情，你偶然的冷酷...真的把我冒冷汗
>我曾经说过的 “沉默的即时炸弹”
>我真的很想我小小的梦想能够实现
>有时候的:-
>一个我不想当个坚强的女人的时候
>一个我不想想那么多的时候的女人
>一个我想要变成你的小女人被保护的那种女人
>一个不会好象男人的女人
>我对你的爱，是你永远不会想到的程度
>我想要当你保护，呵护，疼爱，唯一最重要的女人（女朋友的脚色那个）
>LSK..你懂了吗~

Hapiness Will Follow Me~

Alot of thing to think of...for my future...

2010-12-07T06:26:00.000-08:00

>I hope that I can stay just like that without new level of life...
>Everyone is going through again and again of new level of life...
>To me it is only new obstacles comes to me...
>For the past, there are alots of thing has been happened to me...
>Which remind about sadness, tears, and of course include joy and love..
>However, obstacles which i mentioned just now never leave me walk alone..
>I was hoping that things will go smoothly which there are not much obstacles for me to go through..
>However, this is my life and I know it from the beginning that obstacles will not leave anymore since the 1st day of my grown...
>There are alot of decision that I need to do now for my future
>Where should I go?
>What should I do?
>How am I doing it?
>What consequences and comparison of good and bad of the decision?
>People that I concern all along, Do I really need to put myself for them and not for my future?
>What decision that I should make?

>I do know what kind of decision that perfectly match what I want and needs...
>But life doesn't really go that smooth..
>People I do concern do not support me to do what I want...
>Chances do always come in front of me but slip away because of them...
>Can I be selfish for myself for once?
>For once that I really can make my own decision for my future?
>For once that I really can go on my life without these transparent blackmailing me wall
>I wish I really can be hard-hearted so that I really can make this kind of decision for myself...
>Which I'm kind of sure that it will work and will help me in the future...

Hope that god bless me and Happiness will follow me...

If You Fail To Plan, You Plan To Fail...

2010-12-03T06:38:00.000-08:00

>This is what my best tell me today...
>Regarding to thing which I know best will happen...
>I feel I got some rejection toward these changes..
>Recently, my emo-ness keep on following and disrupt my life...
>There are a few things that I feel uncomfortable of the changes...
_______________________________________________

Changes:
~Going to leave a place where give me the most experience of learning
~Going to a place where no longer any closer people with you and new friends which I do not know well about them
~Going to leave my beloved which I do not have faith and confident on Love
~Going to start another beginning level of my life which I do not know what is going to happen next
~Going to learn a chapter in my life which is working world and also called reality and realistic world
~Going to grown into another person through various experience which I do not know how to face new obstacles
~Lastly, miss everything that has accompany my for the past 3 years...

>Hopefully, I can adapt well with the new environment and work well with it...

Happiness will follow me...

Okt-Fest to drink lovers~

2010-10-11T05:28:00.000-07:00

Digi got a new promotion for you~

2010-10-08T02:43:00.000-07:00

10 Reasons to WAIT for Marriage~

2010-10-08T00:52:00.000-07:00

Good Health...

Self-Respect...

Reputation...

Religious Beliefs...

Educational Planning...

Goals/ Dreams...

High Standards...

Financial Situation...

Future Husband/ Wife...

Your Life~

True Love is willing to wait for the 'I Do'~

McDonald has come to Kampar!!!

2010-10-07T02:25:00.000-07:00

A Visit to Old Folk Homes~

2010-10-06T03:10:00.000-07:00

>Today, i fetch my aunt to old folk homes
>I feel alot about this
>I saw alot of old people there
>I saw the sadness they had over there
>I feel sad for them
>And even feel pity for them~
>I will pray hard for them~
>Hope that they will stay healthy
>In this trip, I learn that we should think about this matter
>One day, we will get old as well
>Therefore, we should appreciate and respect our old one before too late~

Happiness Will Follow Me...

Safe Way to Put Your Lenses On

2010-10-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

Here has a better way to put on your lenses
Hope that it helps

New Edited Picture~ My Best Friend & Me~

2010-10-04T00:17:00.000-07:00

The time we had in a washroom of a hotel

The time we had in the club

The time we going for a sofskill

The time we had our lunch at Vegas restaurant

Friendship Forever~

Happiness Will Follow Me~

Recommendation for Movie Lovers~

2010-10-03T05:21:00.000-07:00

Upcoming on November 5

Recommendation for Movie Lovers~

2010-10-03T05:13:00.001-07:00

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen

Recommendation for Movie Lovers~

2010-10-03T05:00:00.001-07:00

Legend of the Guardian
The Owls of Ga'Hoole in 3D

You never want to miss this good show

The story is about how good defeat the evils
In addition, this movie consist of morale values which suitable to anyone include kids.
Watch it today~

內衣穿法教學@Proper ways of wearing bra for ladies

2010-09-13T00:13:00.000-07:00

Here are some tips for you girls about the right way to wear your bra...
It is a important element which research has been done
A proper wearing method of bra can prevent women from getting breast cancer

Website
http://www.007b.com/bras_breast_cancer.php
http://www.womimi.net/Breast-disease/Protects-the-young-bra-to-misuse-the-careful-bra-synthesis-to-draft.html

These are some website which I found that are useful to ladies out there
on how to care about their health and beauty
Prevention always is better than cure...

This is another book that I suggest to ladies and women on
the link between breast cancer and bras

If you are interested more in detail about how to prevent breast cancer which might cause from bras, you may subscribe from Amazon.com

Hope that all these information could help all of you..

Step Up 3D Theme Song~Recommendation to All of You~

2010-09-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

Lyrics is provided here~

Enjoy this song..

Club Can’t Handle Me

You know i know how
The Club Can’t handle me right now
To make em stop and stare as i zone out
The club can’t even handle me right now
Watchin you im watchin you we go all out
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)

Flo rida 1st Verse:

Hey
I own the light and i dont need no help
Gotta be the feeling that scarface player
Stuntin go wild cant handle this plan
Life of the club arrogant like yeah!
Top like money all the girls just melt
Want to many all know me like Twelve
Look like cash and they all just stare
Bottles, Models, standin on chairs
Fall out coz thats the business
All out its so ridiclous
Zone out so much attention
Scream out im in the building (hey!)
They watchin i know this
Im rockin im rolling
Im holding, I know it
You know it

You know i know how
To make em stop and stare as i zone outt
The club can’t even handle me right now
Watchin you im watchin you we go all outt
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)

Flo Rida 2nd Verse:

Hey
Still feelin myself im like outta control
Cant stop now more shots lets go
Ten more rounds can i get a Kato
Paparazzi trying to make me pose
Came to party to i came no more
Celebrate coz thats all i know
Tip the groupies takin off their clothes
Grand finale’ like superbowl
Go hard run the show
Thats right wild out got money to blow
More light more ice when i walk in the door
No hype i do it big all over the globe
Yeah!
I said it
Go tell it
Confetti
Who ready?
Im ready!
You ready!
Lets get it!

You know i know how
To make em stop and stare as i zone out
The club can’t even handle me right now
Watchin you watchin me we go all out
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)

Verse 3:

You got me watchin now (hey)
Got my attention now (hey)
Got everybody in the club wanting to know now
I am a ladies man
Come and be my lady and..
We can ball, soo, ahhhhhh
Bring ya body here let me switch up the atmosphere
Take you up out of this club and in my new limo
Fly you all around the world
What you want baby girl
Are you ready to go now!

You know i know how
To make em stop and stare as i zone outt
The club can’t even handle me right now
Watchin you watchin me we go all outt
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
(put your hands up!)
The club can’t even handle me right now (yeahhhhh)
(put your hands up!)
Lets celebrate now
(put your hands up!)
You know who shut it down!

Recommendation for this song~

2010-09-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

This song is more to jazz style..
For jazz lover, you might love it...
Enjoy~

You may sing along as well; which lyrics is provided here..

Zee Avi - Bitter Heart lyrics

Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around till they fall down down down.
I wait for you: it's been two hours now,
You're still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.
I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round,
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.
And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

Happiness Will Follow Me...

Sharing My Happiness With All of You~

2010-09-04T01:35:00.000-07:00

Everything Between U & Me = We~

The 1st time of us together~

The 1st time hang around with U~

The 1st trip of We~

Start our journey just like that~

No matter how I change~

Thank you Lao Timun~
Always Baby's Lao Timun~

Happiness Follows Me~

Recommendation for Movie Lovers~

2010-09-02T23:20:00.001-07:00

It is a humor comedy movie~
Suitable for comedy movie lovers~

Lastest Picture I had Edited~

2010-08-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

mY PicTurE~

My Friend~

Another one~

I like the most~

Angle~

_____________________________________________________

All photos are taken personally for interest..Any comment is welcome and it is the 1st time for both photographer to take these photo in a better and more professional way...

Photographer: Ms. JT & Ms. JO
Editor:Ms. JO

Happiness Will Follow Me...

Mixing Up~

2010-08-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

Recenly I didn't update my blog...
I'm so busy..and...Haha..
It is a miracle that has been to me recently....
Comparison can be make to me..
And it is so obvious which I could not resist to say Thank you to U....
I would start off with my other stuff first...

Yesterday my elder brother send me a message which saying "plz get ready"
I was like...Get ready??
Hahahaha...It is so funny...
When I found out that he is going to fetch my sister in law from working place...
And he send to the wrong person...
If ever he see this, I think he must be angry of me...
But I feel happy for him because they are living in a harmonious life...
Glad for u bro...

I going to finish up my final year project soon...
I will do the best cause I'm far way back there
Which I need to catch up with the pace now...
I will do it well, I know...
I will not fail myself, my family, Ms.J and U...
For the moment, I can only say Thank you...
Which all the encouragement all of u given to me...
Without the strength and encouragement to me...
I think things never works that well...
This is human nature..emotionally appeal...

The next thing is...
U give a small gift which mean a lot to me..
Your encouragement..I will be in my heart...
I will try my best to do it which I wish it become truth as well..
Well...U did bring me joy, fun and a lot of differ thing recently..
U are not perfect in some way...
But I know U do your best for me...
I hope everything will go fine...
Actually...
I forgotten to take some picture of the food that U has cook for me...
What a waste...
I will remember it for the next time.. :-)

Assignment are all done...
Everything is smooth now...
Time to work out my FYP questionnaire and data collection..
Everything will run smoothly I think...
Final exam...
I gonna do it this time...I can beat it...Victory is always mine..
Hahahaha~(ss-ing)

Happiness Follow Me...

PLS STOP LA....

2010-08-05T23:03:00.000-07:00

PLEASE STOP LA!!!!
It is already very lag U sumo watch...
Ppl don't need to use de lo...U use all le lo...
I respect U does not mean Im nt angry...
Please respect ppl when U want ppl to respect U!!!
And also respect Yourself!!!

Tq ar~

2010-08-02T00:34:00.000-07:00

Thank you,mummy...
I love u...
Thank you ar, Ms J...
I love u...
Thank you, Ms LL...
I love you...
Thank you ar, Mr Ak...
Love you all...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

Start With~越来越~

2010-08-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Today I would want to write in chinese...If wrong then~hehe~Sorry ar~

今天我很早就醒了
不知为何，我就是总有害怕的感觉
怎么说好呢
也许我真的醒过来了
以前我总是觉得我自己是能的
但是过那么事之后
我就的我越来越不能够这么说了
如何来解释好呢
Mr.CW~是我很后悔的一个人
但现在的他..好幸福哦~
我能说声对不起
当初的孩子气，令你那么难过
Mr.CP~是让我最憔悴的一个人
现在的他, 也很幸福
但是，是我的痛换来的
怎么说呢，是我让了，我累了，也是我无能为力了
你骗我，你变了
我又能怎样
我只能用我双手捧让了
现在，我还能够寄托给谁呢
Mr.AK~你出现了
你真的令我好感动
昨天晚上，我和我家丽丽（对吗我写的名字??部队不可以生我的气哦...）
哭了~我想起了当初的甜蜜
但结果呢...
我好怕，那种的恐惧感
无法形容
我真好想好想
好想你所说的..把will cut off
能吗??
不能怪你，只能怪自己
当初的倒霉，我所说就是如此
你会好像及他人这么地对我吗
你会现在这么的答应我，但最后结局是一样的吗
一切会不一样嘛
我真的没用
最总的我很想认真一次
能吗~

还是 Happiness Will Follow Me~
______________________________________________________________

丽丽啊~
你会幸福快乐的
相信我吗
也许有些东西是不能够增强
但我知道
好心和好人都会有好报
那些伤害过我们的人
就有老天爷来做那些的判断把
我们的过去不能够改掉
也不能够珊除掉
但我们可以把我们的未来搞好他啊
我们一起努力
加油~~
你会得到幸福的~~

Lao Timun XX~

2010-07-31T20:24:00.000-07:00

U tell me..
U r mine...
Judy's Lao Timun... :-)
I do not know I should happy or not...
But..I'm glad...
Fear in between me which I do not know when I can get rid of...
I hope to get rid of it...
Actually...
It is unfair to U...
But I really would want to give it a big try...
I do not know, Will it change something inside of me..
But I will give it a big try and best try
Lao Timun ar~
U must let me bully U ar..
Or else U going to ...hehe~
Opps...
Lao Timun ar~
I start to miss U...
But I don't want to miss U sometimes...
Haha~Very confusing...
But I like bully U...
Lao Timun XX~

Hope That Happiness Will Follow Me...

All the same...

2010-07-30T23:47:00.000-07:00

>Maybe i should stop dreaming which it has prove to me...
>It is all the same...
>Never be the different one...
>I should have notice it earlier than I should have now...
>God has given me something which I do not like it...
>I hope I can be only a normal girl which never know anything...
>I rather to be a normal girl than a girl which could feel everything except to my own stuff...
>I never felt so lost...
>Till now...
>I just feel that I would want to know about myself...
>Why god given me something I can help people but not to myself...
>I hope I can feel n know about it and help myself...
>But it is fated that I can only help people but myself...
>May god bless me...

Hope that Happiness Will Follow Me...which is only a dream...

Wake up so early~

2010-07-28T13:32:00.000-07:00

Today I wake up so early...
4am ar...A bit tiring...
Do assignment...
Gambate la..Lack of time...
Need more hardwork...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

Tired~

2010-07-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

Today I'm so tired and U too...
I was wondering what is the class all about..
I'm looking forward to see U and know about the class..
Must be full of fun and tiredness...
Today no lullaby song lo...
I want lullaby song ar...
Must bully..This is a must to me...
Cause U are far bigger size than me
So must bully...
U won't fight back de I know...
Tired le...
Nitez...Muacks...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

How...Why...

2010-07-26T00:16:00.000-07:00

I do not know why...
I do not know how...
To describe this kind of feeling...
How come, it become like that...
I try to use my ability and strength of analyzing to analyze everything...
But it seem like harder than i think of...
Can I understand everything...
Can I still understand..
Or I just think I have the ability to understand everything...
Hope everything is fine...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

I Told Already...

2010-07-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

>I told my mum abt...
>I do not know about how she really feel about it..
>But she support me...
>I'm happy about it...
>Seriously...
>I thought my mum will say study 1st...
>But...
>Hee~Never mind la...
>How U feel about it??
>I think U might don't like about it..
>Guys are always like that isn't??
>Anyway..
>Happy about it...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

I Found Something I Did Not Notice...

2010-07-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

>Thanks to Ms. J...
>She help me alot...
>She really is an angel which god send to me...
>I'm touched..
>I found something I did not notice while U noticing me...
>Thank you for being caring to me...
>I did not put much hope but U keep on giving me Hopes...
>I do not knowing why...
>I realize I'm a simple gal which is not outstanding...
>N simply just a un-noticeable gal...
>But U see me...
>I do not know why U see me...
>Maybe I'm out of confident...
>I do not have anything better than any other gal..
>But U see me...
>I'm trying to give in and give time to both of us...
>Maybe things will work out...
>Thank you...Mr. LZK...

Hope that Happiness Will Follow Me...
________________________________________________________

To those has no confident on yourself...lk me...One day you will find someone which could brighten your day and to those who already have this happiness..Please cherish it, or you will regret about it...

Is there Happy Ever After...

2010-07-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

I would want to ask 月老公公 is there any happy ever after he has made??
I was wondering...
In this world, so big how do we ever know who is our last one and who is the one for us??
But to me it don't matter much...
Cause I'm not sure of myself as well...
______________________________________________________

I was thinking...
Is it asking too much..Or thinking too much..Or putting too much hopes??
I wish it is not...
Maybe things has been fated...Unchangeable...
All the same...
I start to feel lost and feel I should not continue so...
It is not going to be different..I feel..
It is not going to change...
It is fatal and fate..On me...
I should stop thinking now..
I should stop everything now...
I should not continue...
I should accept the fate...

Happiness Never Comes...

Date:25 July 2010...

For real or Just fool around...

2010-07-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

I do not know why...
How to differentiate which is for real and which is just fooling around...
I hope there are thing which can be use to measure
I do not know all these are for real or not
Hence, I don't even know how i feel actually
God bless me...
I just a simple girl which wish the best for my family members
And a simple wish to be happy person
May all as wish comes true...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

Being a nice person equal to a busybody person

2010-07-19T01:10:00.000-07:00

>I would want to share something over here
>What is the definition of a nice person and a busybody person??
>I might need to be a bad person i think...

>Some people will think of me
*Nice
*Kind
*Good-Hearted

>To some people
*Busybody
*Too much time
*A person who use words sarcastically

>I do not know
>Which kind of people think me of which way
>But i know...
>Sometimes...
>People might need to keep their mouth shut so that not much problems come to them
>In addition, we need to keep away from our ears and mouth and eyes from people problems
>So that, the problems will not come to us...
>All in all, i would just want tell
>In this world there are various kind of people
>Which sometimes, we can't even define of these people actually are thinking of what...
>I do not know my thoughts are correct or not
>Or i can say,
>Different people from differ background of family has differ kind of mindsets
>But to me, one thing is very important
>Which is be as general and objective as you can which it could help a person who is innocent
>Which it could really helps when the problems comes to you...
>Maybe in words it might be a very simple thing
>But if reality world
>We will never know what we should and could do with the problems
>Because there are too much thing is in the stake of consideration

Happiness Will Follow Me

Recently~

2010-07-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

>Yesterday, he tell me...
>"If i ask u to be my gf will u 吓倒?"
>I was lk...stunt...
>I do not know why and how...
>In a sudden, the feeling of fear start to develop in me...
>I was thinking....
>Is my past experience tell me to fear of relationship...
>I do not know well about this...
>I would want to live a better life with the one i feel can hold my hand till the end...
>I would want a person which could bring me to happiness...
>I might not a pessimistic but...
>Now, I would want to live and go on my life to a better me...
>I start to think...
>Is this guy suitable to me??
>Will he promise me something which previous relation does but in the end...
>Will everything will be alright??
>Is my past will haunt me??
>I do not want anything to happen actually...
>I might still stay in the circle which I don't wish to...
>But...
>Something that has happened yesterday...
>Is something never going to change today or in the future...
>Unless there is a time machine to let the time fly back to the past...
>I wish everything never happen...
>I had too much thing which it should not happen happened...
>Well, this might be my fate i think...
>I would want to know more friend...
>I would want to spend my time preciously...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

I started to work it out...

2010-07-14T00:28:00.000-07:00

>I hope my hardwork wont fail me...
>I really hope that what i had figure out to help me in my study will gv me a good result...
>I need it more than i can think of...
>Today...
>I had a tea meeting with UTAR president in heritage hall
>All i had is a feel that...
>Will i grad on time??
>I hope i can do it successfully...
>What i need now is to work harder n do more than i can to help my dream come true...
>Tmr is my photoshooting with my classmates...
>I hope this photo is going to be the reality in the future...
>Hopefully with hardwork...
>I think i can...
>With hardwork...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

Bad Mood~

2010-07-12T23:52:00.000-07:00

~Today i got a very bad mood...
~I do not knowing why...But I'm in extremely bad mood...
~I start to realize my hidden self...
~I feel I got so much hidden self which i do not know it is a good thing or a bad thing...
~Sometimes it makes me feel deeply depressed...
~Sometimes it makes me feel deeply stress...
~And even worse,
~It make my life feel so hard...
~It is something that I do not know how to handle it nor face it...
~Seriously,
~In a big trouble now...
~I could only try to control it bits by bits...
~But to change it...
~I think i need more time than i could think of...
~I do not know I need how much time to face it...Or settle it...
~Now,
~I can only find solution to fight till the end...
~Hopefully...I can manage to handle it well...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

LIfe is Getting Harder and Harder to Me...

2010-07-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

>I feel life is getting harder to me...
>I might have more than one obstacles for me to go through actually...
>I do not know how to go through it...
>I have been changing a lot since then...
>Since i have obstacles from young times...
>Maybe a lot of friends, peoples and even family do not understand me...
>They might feel that I'm person who always think of negatives stuffs...
>But actually...
>They do not know how i go through my life...
>They might only know about my surface of life...
>But they will never know about what is going through and on my life...
>I really hope that...
>One day..one fine day might come across my life...
>Shining upon my life...
>I hope that i could get more strength from anywhere i could get...
>I really hope that my life get simpler and smoother...
>Now,
>I only have a single thought which is...
>God may give me more faith and strength to go through this life...and obstacles that i'm facing...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

Today~

2010-07-04T05:21:00.000-07:00

Today...
I hvnt't go back to my uni...
Today..
I talked to my mum the whole day
I'm so happy while talking to her...
All i can say is i love her more than i can say in words...

I talked to her about almost what is inside in my heart...
I told her about my feeling about the guy who break my heart...
I told her how i feel about my housemate...
I told her about how i fell about my future...
I told her about what i have gone through all the times...

I asked for her opinion about my future...
I asked for her opinion about my love life...
I asked for her opinion to settle down my feeling about past...

She is the one who always stand besides me while i'm alone...
Giving all the strength that i need when i feel down the most...
Giving me chances and faith and passion when i'm lost...
Almost all the times she is the one who give me everything...
She is the most beautiful women that i will never met for the rest of my life...
She accompany me since i'm born...
I would cherish no one than her...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would like to dedicate a song here for her..

Because You Love Me by Celine Dion

For all the stand you stood by me
For all the truth that you make me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong you made right
For everything dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
Through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reached
You gave me faith cause you believe
I'm everything I am
Because you love me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand i can touch the sky
I lost my faith You gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shinning your love in your life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies You were the truth
My world is a better place because of You

Happiness Always Follow Me because There is You by Me...I love You, Mum...

New Photos Being Edited...

2010-07-03T06:41:00.001-07:00

My Best Friend...Love ya, Ms.J...too..^@^

All these are my recent edited photos..So Happy that i learn it...

Happiness Will Follow Me...

The Best of the Rest of the Photos...

2010-07-02T06:28:00.001-07:00

I think this is the best i hv done...

**More is coming up...

A Brand New Thing I Realize & Found...

2010-07-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

>I have a new roommie this semester...
>Since my 1st roommie move out from the room..
>The Roommate keep on changing..
>Am i a person which all of the people around me don't lk me??
>This is a question that i always asked myself...

>And recently...
>I found out...
>It doesn't matter whether other people like u or nt...
>It is the matter of the personality and character that u bring out when u r not alone...
>Sometimes people just don't realize their own problems...
>And this is a problems that people did and never realize...
>Of course..
>This statement include me...

>However, I would proudly say...

>I'm a person which will realize sometimes of this matter of myself...
>I might be a sarcastic in words...
>But chinese people always say...
>忠言逆耳~
>I'm sorry if i write it wrongly...

>In life, i always think of satisfying everyone needs and requirement..
>Then who is going to fulfill my needs and requirement without selfishness...
>Well,
>At here, i would want to thank a million billion thanks to my parent which care about me since I'm born...
>We just can't be someone people want us to be...
>Be yourself...
>Of course..if can the bad attitude and personality should change...
>Have a change is not a bad thing to be a better person..

Happiness Will Follow Me...

This is brand new photo that have been edited..thanks to my new roommie here of introducing me a new software...

Life Must Go On..Dream Must Be Complete...

2010-06-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

>Although life is being tough to me
>But...
>Life still go on...
>I would want to thank to every friend of mine that concern about me...
>I will be tough
>I will walk through every hard times that i'm going to face
>Dream must become complete...
>I must success...

Hapiness will Follow me...

也许...或许...但,我都希望...

2010-06-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

我也许只是个很普通的一个女生...
我也许只是个很不起眼的女生...
我也许是个很不值得被从爱的女生...

或许我不应该在这里...
或许我不是个好女生...
或许我是个无可药救的人...

但...我都希望...
我希望我能够走下去...
我希望我有勇气走下去...
我希望老天爷能够给我多点的能耐...

只需要个很大的勇气走下去...
希望老天爷的保佑...
我不再想要这样下去...
我需要的勇气比我想象的很大很大...
我不想再添麻烦给别人了...

Hope that Hapiness will follow me...

Friendship?Relationship?Failure?

2010-06-20T18:46:00.000-07:00

>To me...
>Relationship is type of relation that i really lack of confident...
>How and What is this relation?
>I hope that i can overcome this very much...
>Act...
>I'm terribly sad...
>I saw their photo...
>In the picture is him n her...
>In the past...
>It is me n him...
>To me...
>I think i do not want to get involve with anymore...
>I do really feel...
>Things will not change anymore...
>To me...
>Friendship is a relation that i really dissapointed of...
>I had try almost everytime to share my care and my love around...
>But...
>Things never work out...
>I have tried my best but...
>Although alot of times i spend and hang around with..
>I admit that alot of time; without her...
>I'm sure that i can't make it and go through it...
>But now...
>I seriously think of...this is the least thing i can do...
>I do not think i have much energy to go on anymore...
>I can only maintain it...
>All i can say is...
>I did alot of things with hardwork but...
>The result is ... failure...
>I do not knowing why or how to explain this...
>But all i can say is i fail in both relation...
>Although hardwork is there...
>Hope that time flies...
>I would still maintain everything...
>Hope that hapiness will follow me...

Missing Someone..Missing Something..Missing Out Something in Life...

2010-06-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

Am i thinking too much....

I'm thinking this way all the time...

I wish time could turn back...

I wish everything could go smoothly...

But

One thing that never going to change even time flies back...

It is me...

I'm the one who is around all the time...

Well, it might have changes...

If I could have a different mindset...

Believing

Is always what i always holding on...

But

Each time it breaks...

It breaks my heart as well...

I hope that I do not believing in at that time...

But

It is will never change...

Because i'm believing...

I never change...

I miss u...

I can only express here...

It might only shoothe my heart...

So that i feel better...

But

I know i'm missing something in my life...

Missing something significant in my life...

Hoping that everything goes fine...

Then

My life goes fine...

A Period Of Time To Go Through...

2010-03-01T07:57:00.000-08:00

>It has been a period of time that this happened..
>It keep on bothering until its kinda phycho or sickening of it..
>Sometimes i was thinking..
>Izit it is a time to go through??
>Or the only stupid person that make the thing going on and on..
>It has been occuring really a period of time...
>A friend which care about and care about her the most keep on nagging..
>But actually it is not nagging...
>It is an advise...
>Today, it is lucky to have her around..
>Because of the advise given by her..
>Without her..
>There is a golden word by her..
>"It is not worth it when things has over and u keep on thinking about it...And when tears are there..He will never know about it and He NEVER CARE"...(J, 2009-2010)
>She is right...
>Don't think about it and keep moving on..
>It is over and still over..
>His words has always a hurt..
>And why letting him to hurt again and again...
>No use...
>Well...
>It has been a time for me to go through again..
>It is well understd that it will be a pain and gain ways of it..
>Maybe..Pain might be the most..
>Afterall..it is a rainbow day for me...
>It will be a rainbow and sunny day after the rain...
>Which has remind me...
>I has to let go...
>Things has been so clear ever since the day...
>Things has been so clear afterall..
>If things has been so clear..
>I shud be clear as well...
>Thank you..Ms. J which always be besides me..
>Thank you for always making me so clear for everything...
>You are right..."How long u need to bw like that??"...(Ms. J, 2009-2010)
>I will always remember it...
>Thank you...

我的梦...我的幻想...我要的...

2009-12-18T23:13:00.000-08:00

我的梦...
梦是我常都做的事...
也是一件让我很害怕的事...
有时侯还让我从梦中醒过来...
我有时侯都会想着...
我的梦会实现吗...
梦啊梦...
我好想你来到我身旁...
期待了好久...
为什么你还没来到我身旁呢...
常常我都会想了好几篇,但还没有想到个理由..
为什么她要这么对我??
我不认识你...
但你却狠狠抢了我心爱的人...
我有时候还会想..
是我真的误会了你
还是真有此事...
我好想告诉你...
今朝你这样做,明朝你也会遭遇同样的对待...
那时我想..
我不会可怜你，也不会说风凉话...
因为我都懂那种的感受...
当我想到这个我就会幻想...
我的梦为什么就要被破坏呢..
谁有意见关于我，也能够接受..
却因为一个陌生的人就能狠心把我的幸福毁掉...
好狠的一个女生..
无缘无故的把人家的幸福毁掉那你不是没良心了吗...
那倒不能够只怪你一个...
对与你实在太不公平了...
只能怪男人太多情...
我要的只是个爱我的男人却被伤害了...
我能说的，能做的都做了..
现在我该怎么好呢...
我只是个很普通的女生...
要求的也跟平凡的女生一样...
为什么都好像是个很遥远的梦.........

Birth..Old..Sick..Death..

2009-12-16T00:07:00.000-08:00

Recently,
I ask my fren,Eng Aun abt a gal of his course
As i heard,
She is a nice in person and quite good in study student
I heard
She had leukemia
Sound sad..
She is so young to had this decease
Sometimes i was thinking
Ppl like us
Is so common..so fragile..
V might die at another day
I has lose 2 fren which die in a vry young age
I was thinking
This day might happen on us
Might on me as well
I nvr had body check up
I was thinking...
Ppl which near to death might saw o feel things that common ppl dun
I was thinking
V shud cherish wat v hv right nw
I hv been a vry active person once
Bt nw i dun
I was wondering
Whether this is the signal that my body giving to me
O i was thinking too much
As my last post
I hd sick for uncounted days
Nw the decease came to me
And i hope it is not
Without a medical certification
I will not assume im sick
Bt wat i had observe
My body has gv me signal of this decease
I will try to maintain my body health
So that i would still alive for the other day
I will work on it
The most heartache is the u love dun believe when u tell so
Mayb
This is my life...

Because I'm a Girl

2009-12-13T20:52:00.000-08:00

I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time , you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

you should have told me you didn't like me anymore
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

Hey babe
the pain it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but I know now I've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever I needed you, you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
eventhough you hurt me
I still love you

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

Sick again...

2009-11-30T21:23:00.000-08:00

>Start to cough again...
>When am i going to get well..
>Today..
>I got an advise frm a vry best fren of mine..
>I knw that i do not hv a high IQ...
>Thats hw i interprete myself that i dun hv a vry high self control..
>I hope that one day i could hv really change myself to a person which all of my fren tell me about my weakness...
>Overall...
>It is a weakness no matter whr i go to...
>I hv been undergo the train of myself to get myself to change to a better me..
>If i could hv change me..
>It change alot myself to a better me...
>I hv been sick for almost wholely a mth...
>Hw m i goin to get well if i really dun change frm innerself..
>I hope that i could really get well no matter frm the sick i really get into..
>As well as my personality n behavior...
>Alot of my caring fren has gv up on me..
>Bcz of my stubbornness..
>I hope i can be myself n as well as change myself to a better one..
>In a way, I hope that ppl could understd me..
>Understanding me nt only my appearance as well as my way of thinking...
>Alot of ppl telling me that im the type which i will not bring harm to ppl...
>Bt sometimes i gt a vry irritating behavior..
>Frm what i hv learn frm my past..
>I thk it is enough for me to be a stubborn person..
>I shud hv some action..
>Some ppl might alwis think of me that im such a wasting time fren..
>What does this mean..
>Cz sometimes i really get into my own thoughts and i dun care abt other ppl...
>Sometimes im really down
>Bcz of i dun hv the self confident i shud hv...
>I shud hv telling myself...
>I shud be myself and being a vry high confident person...
>And the most important..
>I shud listen and make changes if it really a problem to myself and other ppl...

>For those, i hv been that stubborn and making u all feel irritating...Im sry..
>For those has feel dissapointed of me de...Im trying my best of it..I hope for more time..And i cant really change to a person to suit everyone of u...As this is a fact i wish u all understd...I will nt stubborn bt i hope for understanding frm u all...TQ...

Maybe I Shud Just Let Go...

2009-11-27T08:27:00.000-08:00

>From the first love till nw...
>It hasnt really gv me a vry secure feeling...
>Or im a kinda the gal which almost all of the guy would lk to hv be only as a fren..
>Mayb i shud hv let go..
>Let him go might is best bad option from the bad options...
>I could fall frm heaven to hell...
>It is a feeling which i really feel frus of..
>God..
>Are u thr listening to me??
>Will u tell me which way i shud go...
>Im tired...
>I wan an answer...
>I love him...
>Bt wat i will gain afterall...
>Hurts...
>Im only a normal gal which hope for love which can bring 2 the end of my life...
>Is it a greed which god feel im nt worth for giving me...
>God...
>I wish that u could gv me an answer which i can let go...
>Letting go is so hard for me...
>Can i choose frm the starting; nt to start this love...
>Can i flash back the time...
>Wish that i could jz let go....

My Way, My Life...

2009-08-18T18:17:00.000-07:00

There is always things that ppl wish to do so much bt they couldnt make it
Well...
To me, Something will only remain dream and will not going to be reality
Life really getting hard to me..
Which is it all mean...Hard for me to explain actually...
I wish i could be someone i wana be actually...
Sometimes pretending could be tired...
Huh..
This is what i hated the most...
Why am i could not be who i am, and end up pleasing everyone being someone im nt..
Why am i could not realize my dream....
This is what i wish the most...Wishing i could be who i am and achieve what i had dream of...
I wish i can go in my way of life without only pleasing everyone as my way of life...

Huh.. vry pressure...

2009-07-18T02:00:00.000-07:00

>Huh...
>Is there anyone can help...
>How to survive in such place that could kill people..
>Is the people there can survive there by real way..
>Or they just acting that they survive there...
>I really hope that i really can survive..
>But the pressure that i get everyday really could make me go mad...
>Maybe crazy too...
>I hope that god bless me so that i can survive there better...
>Hope that what i had done could result me a good ending over there...
>I really hope that i can survive...
>Well...
>Maybe people will thought of im just being so childish...
>Thinking of im just wanting people to sympathy at me...
>Well...
>I could not change your mind...
>But im just be me...
>May god bless me...

Is there anyone can help me??

2009-04-10T09:27:00.001-07:00

>I hope that there will be someone can help me
>Did i do wrong thing??
>Or it is jz fated to be lk that...
>I hope that everything is only a dream...
>I do really put effort....
>But y my ending will be in such way...
>I really hope that i will be happy like i was a child
>Everything jz as pure as we like
>Is there any help in love??
>Is there any aid for love??
>Y it's me??
>It's been a long time
>I was hoping....
>But end up...
>Everyone has their own story...
>Never mind...
>I take the challenge...
>I'll fight for it...

Mentally Disorder

2009-04-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

Well...it is been long time i didn't write into my blog...perhaps things change...ppl change..everything change..Huh!!...Life been difficult to me...Since when i should talk about...perhaps i should not talk about it. Not only now..it is till forever.

For me, life really is been hard for me. Since small without any person who can talk and don't even had a person who really care and protecting. What to do.. we only can stand alone.... we can only cry silently in the silent night.

Is there really a person who can really care and helps and also protect us till forever? I think only ourselves. Believe it... only ourselves. No one protect ourself than ourself. Dont understand? Huh!! You will realise it one day...

I do not how long i can survive on this earth but what i know is that there is alot of things is really out of control and also hurtful. I believe that only ourselves will save ourself.

Save yourself before you fall.... Juz like prevention better than cure...

Full Stop Means Full Stop...Stop Right There...

2008-06-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

>I do not knowing whether it will really stop right there...
>But i hope that it will stop right there...
>I do not wanting things to continue anymore...
>I m trying my best to put things back to the right way...
>But it won't..
>And i also don't want it to continue like this...
>I m tired of it...
>No matter how...
>I want to stop anything and everything right now...
>I m all alone walking along this road...
>And i do not want this to continue...
>Continue will only burden me with more problems...
>I just wana continue my life with the way i should...
>No matter how...
>I will stand to what i m believing now...
>I know i can and i will...
>I will...
>I hope that all this problems will really leave me...
>I don't want all this around me...
>Please...
>I don't want all this...
>Hope that what i wish will really happen as what i hope...

Hurt??

2008-06-13T02:23:00.000-07:00

>Hurt??
>What is hurt??
>A kind of feeling??
>A kind of action??
>I don't know about it..
>I hope one day i could get away from it..
>Things jz comes continuously..
>Couldn't it just stay away from me..
>Couldn't it just go away and disappear from my life..
>I do not know that how much more hurting could be in my life..
>Perhaps...
>Things or Hurting will never leave me..
>They will never leave me...
>This is what makes me never felt that i m alone..
>Because Hurts has already in my life..
>It will never leave all the time..
>It will accompany with you...
>This is what we says that we are all alone
>But in a way..
>Hurt will accompany all the way in our life...
>It will never leave..
>Until the end of my life...

Love... & Sex...

2008-06-06T23:07:00.000-07:00

I do not knowing how to tell all about this...
Love is a beautiful thing...
Sex is a very actionist thing...
When it comes to Love and Sex combination time...
I do not know that is it the truth of love or...
It is only a action on the bed...
Well...
Love... to me is already nothing...
When love becuming a hurt...
And the hurt has already became a norms...
It is will like become nothing to us...
Love will only just a burden to us...
Well...
Love... It is so complicated till people will feel so unsecure or very secure at a time...
But now... To me... Love has already become a very unsecure and not worth to be sad thing...
What i can say... When things has happen... And already a past... we can't do anything...
There is nothing that we can do...
Since mr.CW had left me... Life is totally sucks... To me...
Some people tell me that you still have a very caring family that care about you...
But sometimes... things doesn't go that way...
A caring family remain caring family...
A love from a person remain love from him...
It is a 2 differ thing or can say 2 differ love...
A love from family is totally differ love from a Him...
Well... perhaps thing will continue like that in my life...
Maybe i just not meant to be love by someone...
Maybe i just a person who should remain just alone...
Well...
About sex...
Hmm... it is also a complicated thing...
An action on the bed...
An action that show "Love"...
A thing that people use to satisfice themselves...
Anything that can be...
Ownself of thought...
Well...
Sex to me is also a question...
A question that means what??
A question that shows what??
I hope that i can find out the answer one day...
When thing has until a certain level...
When it become a thing that couldn't be change...
Just leave it...
What else we can do...
Nothing...
We can do nothing...
Hmm...
A very simple word could bring such big meaning to everyone...
It is so complicated...

A Drunker...

2008-05-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

I do not knowing how to tell all this... Nw i know a person who is drunk is what feeling... Perhaps there is sumthing that the person do wanting so much in a very long time ago... But needing to do that need him/her to be brave enuf to do so... Well, not much that i can tell but i know the feeling... At 1st its abit high... Then, it will becum another thing to be... Each of us hv differ ways of style to be drunk... Before we drink... When we are drinking... Then, after drinking... All this has its differ ways to express...

Before we drink...

We are very clear of what we are doing... Then, we will try to think properly before we drink... Then, we start to drink...

When we are drinking...

When we are drinking... We feel like drinking more and more... Then, we will lose our cautiousty... Then, we will start to do something very stupid... Some ppl will shout out like hell... Some ppl will go to jump into river... Some ppl will cry like their parents already dead... etc...

After the drinking, we are drunk... Some ppl drunk like hell... Some ppl drunk halfway... Some ppl drunk will drunk till bother ppl so much... make trouble to ppl who care about me... It is a trouble things... Hmm... what can we do abt it??... Usually i will think properly before i do any decision and action... But nowaday, i m like duno how to think properly and do crazy stuff... I really duno what else that i can do abt it... It is such stupid thing that i m doin...

Huh... Nothing i can do... There is really nothing that i can about it... But who cares... nobody cares about it... Really nobody care...

My Old Fren...

2008-05-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

I m so happy that my old fren cum to kampar...Nw at least my fren came to kampar i m nt so bored... Hmm... I really very happy that my fren cum to kampar... She is one of my closest fren... She know how i felt and know what actually happen to me... She know how i go through it... How i suffer from it... I really feel so happy when i know she is cuming to kampar

There is another one is my fren too... She is my housemaid too... Her name is Sook Nee... Altough we are not that close but we are frens since form 6... I miss that time too... At least i won't feel so upset than now... It is far too happier than nw.... I really hope that time can flies back so that i can make some changes... But things won't go back... I know it too well... Far too well..

At the moment, I really feel like i m like a robot.. A robot that being control by ppl... Too sad to be heard but it is truth... Life is like that... Sometimes not that ppl choose to let ppl control u... But it is a choice to make things simple and things not to complicated.... Like the old ppl proverb... One person sad is better than letting everyone to suffer with u... Thats how things works insides of me...

Nw i hv my old frens to be with me... To accompany me... At least there is a part of my life is a happy part... But deeply in my heart I knowing too well that Hapiness is too far frm me... I will never reach that happiness and the happiness will not come to me... Thats is my life... I admit it is abit hurt but i already used to it.... Too well using to the life i have till now... No matter how somethings that couldn't be change is not going to change for forever...

Sometimes life is too hard for human being... In this world human need to sacrfice something for others... Things will not be that well build or go smooth for us... Life is terribly hard to go trough and too hard to adapt to it... Too Hard...

These Few Experience....Hoping For Something

2008-05-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

>I really hoping for something
>I do not knowing why
>But things come and go
>Why life must be so hard to go on
>Why ppl must go trough alot of hardness and sadness and also sacrifying
>Only ppl will get what they want...
>God do u hear what i m saying now??
>I m hoping so much that u could hear me and let me have the answer..
>But the answer will never come to me...
>Is there anything that i can do
>So that i can know the answer from u??
>Must there have any sacrifices only then u will give the answer?
>I really hope that u could tell me why...
>If there is a limit on everything that we r doing ...
>Then i wish there is unlimited...
>Life is so tired...
>Ending up life will only cause more and more problem to ppl...
>Stay alive will only getting more problems and miserable thing to us...
>Is there any cure for it?
>I hope...
>But there will not be any medicine for it..
>But i hope that problems will not increase...
>Instead of solving it...
>Life is so much of problems...

Things Being So Hard...

2008-05-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

Things had been a very hard time for me to go through... I do not have any idea of things have gone through... I want things to be okay... But it never be... I am trying my best to works things out but things doesn't work out... I want things to be ok with him... He do not wanting it... I m trying my best to make things works out btween them... He tell me to stay out of his stuff... It is wrong to help ppl out... It is noy easy for a gal to let go of somthing they precious alot... I do not understand why that he want the things to become like that... It is he will feel better if other ppl really feel pain and hurt...

He will feel better if a person really feel so.. And if the person is his beloved why he want to hurt her... As a fren here really hope he really can think over it... If he really love her... Why is he keep on hurting her?... It is really feel great for a person to hurt another...

I really have no idea of it... I really don't understand of why is he keep on treating ppl like that... He already hurt 2 gals in the past... While he still have the chance to get back what he have before... Why he want to push things back... Ppl are trying to feel for him... Think for him... And even help him in no return feeling... But yet he still thought of ppl doesn't care enough for him... If he really feel so... I do not knowing how much can a fren can do for him... I really hope that he could cherish everything he have now... At least appreciate of waht ppl do for him...

I really hope that he can understand what ppl do for him and really care for him...

Helpless When She Smiles...

2008-05-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

She keeps her secrets
In her eyes
She wraps the truth
Inside her lies
Just when i can't say
What she's done to me
She comes to me
And leads me back to paradise
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all i wanna feel
She'll dance away just like a child
She drives me crazy
Drives me wild
But i'm helpless when
She smiles
Maybe i'd fight if i could
It hurts so bad
But feels so good
She opens up just like
A rose to me
Anything she'd ask me to
I would.....
When she looks at me
I got so weak...

Frm:BSB lyrics..

Love???...

2008-04-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

Today, one of my fren ask me what is the particular things that need in love... Indirectly, what is love???.... In everyone point of view... Love is different... Some of them look love as a very brave things... Some of them takes love as a games... Some of them think that love is everything... Some says that love is suffering....

Some of people scare to fall in love again... They have been trough a very suffering ways in relationships... I do wanna share some experience of my fren to you all... Let us call her as ms.S...

She is a preety clever and preety gal... She has her 1st bf at the age of 16 years old... She is so young and preety... And she end up with a very sad ending... Its a pity of her.. I know that the fact will never change... At 1st, it is nothing... They start their relationship very well.. Then, they start have arguement... By days, the arguement they have increase... No matter how, ms.S just tolerate and let her bf to the winner... After a year, their problems increase... But ms.S still stand straight to protect their relationship till the end... Then, one day ms.S cant take it anymore... She start to lose confident towards her bf and also this relation... She end up her relationship at last... But that guy still stay close to her... He force her back to her... But ms.S dont want to continue this relation and she ran to Genting to work there and just want to start a new life... But the guy went to Genting to find her... And she give him a chance again... Then, they go back to the relation again... Then, problems comes and the problems is more serious... The guy hits my fren and force her to make love with him... It is a pity to a gal who is just having her the 1st relation... Her life just go on like this... She thought that problem can solve by talk things over... But things get worse... Now it is a impact towards my fren... Although she had already end this relation... But alot of thing will not turn back to the actual 1 or can return to normal... So,ms.S life just being ruin by the motherfucker...

At 1st, I m too do not understd why do my fren is so stupid till like that... That guy is so stupid and so asshole... Just a pervert... But she can love him so much... Now i understd why is it like that... Actually love cant be measure... dont need any reason... dont need anything to have with it... It is kinda feeling that couldnt explain... cant be explain... I m happy that i dont have such terrible guy with me before... I have a wonderful relationship before... But under some problem that we cant solve... It just end up like that... Actually I want to save the relation but thing wont go back... Unless we have a time machine that can turn back the time... (I hope so much)

Lastly, what i want to tell is that cherish whatever we have... No matter in love or it is a thing or family love...friendship dont forget... Just cherish whatever we have... Just care about it... I believe that everything that we cherish and care of will gv the same feedback to us...

Good luck with whatever we have... Remember cherish whatever we have...

@t Last...

2008-04-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

At last... I m sick... Huh!!!...Jz hv the 1st paper only... i fall sick... Do not knowing why... But I think i hv settle everything that i need to settle... Well... I hope that i m not sick... Cz if i Sick i will tend to sleep and get rest more... And overall... I will not going to get good marks for my PR paper... I really hope that there is fairy in this world... I m going to get crazy if i go on like this....

At last... I hv settle with A'Phang... I hv told him last nite that we will not going to be what he hope for... Not that i do not wanting this... But i already cannot and I won't believe in this love stuff... At the moment, I wish to be all alone... Not that i don't hv feeling towards guys ad... But I really dun love him and like him... My heart has already complicated... Don't force me... Don't treat me so good... Don't Do anything anymore... I really don't want to feel bad of it... I really don't want to... I m sorry for everything that i do that hurts you so much...

At last... Tmr is my PR paper... Although i hv already study everything and revision again and again... But i feel that i m not doing enough yet... I need to pass this paper... I need to do well in this paper... This is my major paper... I need to pass and do well... I hv ad hurt my mother for what i hv did in the past... For now, it is the time for me to do something for my mother... And only with a good grade, I will gain back my confident in my studies... I need to do well this time... I must... G@batei....

At last... I found out that there are alot of people out there do not like me... Alot of rumours start to spread... And some has spread don't know for how long ad... Only now i know that alot of people don't like me... Last time no matter how much i do bad stuff... Every of my fren will stand for me... But now... I m all alone... I doesn't mean that i want someone to stand for me...But at least they will understd me better than anyone else... It kinda hurt...

I....

2008-04-24T07:15:00.001-07:00

I m really blur of myself...
I do not know what i want....
I do really want to find out what i want exactly...
I do not why... but i do try before to try to think of what i want for my entire of my life...
I m so BLUR...
I hope that by days
I can figure out what i want actually... If not i m sure that i will go on my life blindly....
I relly hope that fairy tales are true.... There will be a fairy around me to help me out if i had any problems....
I do hope that there are ppl who can help me... But i know that there will be no one can help me except myself...
I really hope that i can find out who am i actually... who do i belong to.... where will i be in the future....
I m desiring to know and see that day....
I m hope so.... so much....

I @m Happy At The Mom3nt...

2008-04-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

I am happy now... I m happy that i do well in my 1st exam ytd... I m so happy till i duno hw to tell or express the feeling... The exam i really put alot of effort in it... Although i duno whether i can score in this exam o not but i m very happy that i do really put aside everything that i m worry of...

Well, i really enjoy ytd... But i m sick now... Fortunately... I hv medicine to cure myself... Haha...

Well, mr. B i hope what u think is right for yourself... and for mr. Lee... I really miss u so much... Although u n me is so far away and we are already only remain fren... But i do miss the moment we spend together... I really hope time can flies back... But i know everything is over between us... I do hope that u n your gf can happily ever after... Although i wish that person is me... But I know everything is not going to like that... I do hope you are happy now...

Do Not Know Why.....??

2008-04-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

I do not know why...But i jz wanna search for my soul to concentrate on whatever i wanna do...I really wan to be back my happy go lucky me....I miz the time that i m happy....I really wanna run away frm everything nw...Hope that i can search back my Happy Go Lucky personalities....

Well, I m happy that i m really got put real effort to get back what i wan...I hope that i really can go on like that...It is a gud thing to be....Try to bcum a better me...

Hahaha!!!Hope that everything will go on fine...

Past is Past....Hope that i can change myself to a better me....Hope so....

It's the Time...

2008-04-22T04:43:00.000-07:00

Today, it's the day that i will fight for my final....huh!!!!....I hope that i will win this fight...After all that had happen to me, i really feel like i going to hell....sorry to say i feel sucks after everything that had happen to me...i really feel not like to study....I do not know why but i really feel that....i m lost....no mattter in what topic or whatever ways....i jz feel lk wanna die....lost of my soul n spirit cause me couldn't concentrate in studies.....but one thing that i wanna say over here is that.....i really thanks to everyone that besides me when i need love the most....I do not know why....but i m really fortunate enough that i have a group fren that always besides me.....no matter hw bz they are.....thanks guys & gals.....

Especially, Joanne.....i really appreciate u that u always besides me no matter hw bz u are...hw frus u are....u will leave your stuff aside and accompany me....i really appreciate for what u have did for me.....I love ya.....

For mr.B(once my dear), i really appreciate for u hv did with me and did for me....although we are no more a couples....but i will still love u....i know hw depressed that u really are.....but i will still say....u can rely on me whenever u wan....

Huh!!!Today i dun really feel like writing blog nw.....For nw,i would like to fight for my future....The final is coming...I would like to wish for all of my fren.....GUD LUCK YA......G@mB@t3i.....